Author Archives: crampsforlife
where was this kid when i needed him?
a week before the 5th grade talent show… cut to me crying in my room as i realized i could not do an amazing duo performance the way i envisioned it in my head because the girls i “auditioned” were … Continue reading
i hope hell isn’t as bad as it’s rumored to be….
i literally sat in front of my computer for a full 3 minutes with my mouth open, in silence, after watching this for the first time.
can’t. breathe. laughing too hard.
reason #48 why you shouldn’t wear a BIKINI if you are the drunk big girl at the beach. You should probably also stay away from the water if you’ve been drinking 22oz Coronas since 6am. This shit is hilarious…. it … Continue reading
nobody puts baby in the corner… unless she has a spray can
via TheArabParrot
small human badasses.
these kids are too much. that horrible sound you hear off in the distance? oh. just ignore it. it’s just our ovaries screaming over here. we are now accepting applications for dudes that are ready to pump out a cute, … Continue reading
adorable olsens… lowkey racists.
eargasm provided by The Weeknd.
can not get enough of this. the whole album is amazing.
“nice pose rasta…”
9:01pm- watch video friend sent. laugh hysterically at the creepy hilariousness. 9:12pm- still giggling at the rasta rooster. feel slightly haunted by video. 9:13pm- guilt sets in about giggle fit. 9:14pm- sit child down for a talk about the danger … Continue reading
the healer.
Told you we aint dead yet we been livin’ through your internet you don’t have to believe everything you think we’ve been programmed wake up, we miss you.
so here we are…
I caught a glimpse, but its been forgotten So here we are again I made a vow, to carry you home… home I really tried to do what you wanted It all went wrong again I made a vow, to … Continue reading
but you can’t use my phone.
every time i hear this song, my inner 65 year old black southern woman at a baptist church comes out and i sit there the whole time shouting out shit like “AMEN GURL” …. “MMMMMHHMMMM… TELL him!” and “CHHUCHH” badu … Continue reading
supermodels. they don’t make them like they used to….
huh? no dude. i do NOT wrap my sheet around me every time it comes out of the dryer and walk around the house blasting this song while pretending to be christie turlington. pffft. come ON! who the hell would … Continue reading
madonna. just because.
sometimes i wake up wondering what madonna’s doing right now. and then i remember that not only did she make millions while she SLEPT, she’s laying on a mattress made of $100 bills snuggled up naked next to some male … Continue reading
comes with the territory.
and by “territory” i mean hair. creeps, love em.
darth sheen.
we are so up-to-here with this charlie sheen shit we are about to go postal on an old folks home as they all hold little baby kittens and sing love songs to us. yep. one more person says “winning” to … Continue reading
an ode to the y chromosome…
franco. some dude. his friend could get it too. obama. classic newman. sean lyles, we’re your biggest fans. depp. gosling. jay electronica.
i’m behind you…
my girl sent me this today with the subject “pharrell. shower scene.” let me just say, I think this is one of THE sexiest songs ever made… but a shower scene? Yeah. Pharrell can get away with it. there is … Continue reading
“it’s a little rapey…”
USE A FUCKING COASTER NEXT TIME BITCH.
a nightmare just ate up your dreams…
sooner or later, it all comes crashing down… ain’t that the truth. one day you wake up and realize the rug gets pulled out from under you because it is MEANT to be, you are not MEANT to be where … Continue reading
remember when….
she was so dope. this song has gone triple diamond in my house since she came out with it. still amazing. come back lauryn.
we would totally join his cult and drink his kool aid.
no. kool aid is NOT a metaphor for something else. settle down. he’s only 19. damn. but if he said the aliens were coming to get us and we needed to throw on some black nikes, we’d do it.
“i care if i do something that’s special”
wow. just…. wow. she’s got it all figured out.
sometimes i sit and wonder what thom yorke is doing right now…
and it usually is EXACTLY this in my mind. the new radiohead is the audible equivalent of your mom tucking you in to bed with some hot cocoa after you got beat up on the playground. aka- it’s amazing.
some girls watch chick flicks and cry when stressed…
we watch shit like this and read cookbooks…
richard head.
every time i have to spend time in silverlake (LA) or williamsburg (BK) i get this song stuck in my head for weeks.
“you want to be treated like a man? well… MAN UP THEN.”
“my teeth aren’t friends, they don’t like that neighborhood”
let’s all say a little prayer for this girl’s future college roommate on the the night this chick discovers FourLoko, weed cookies and shrooms.
